


If You're Sexy and [Don't] Know It...

by therunawaypen



Series: 00Q Tumblr Prompt Fills [28]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: 00 harem, Dubious Consent, M/M, MI6 gangbang, Oblivious Q, Orgy, Poor Q, Q is a mother hen, Q secretly likes it, Strange relationship dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-25
Updated: 2014-02-17
Packaged: 2017-12-30 09:49:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1017151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therunawaypen/pseuds/therunawaypen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Q's hott, everyone in MI6 knows it. Especially the 00 agents. But Q doesn't seem to realize his own physical attraction, or the fact that he has a group of agents lining up to get him in bed.</p><p>But what the agents want, they get.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> "Q is really hot and doesn’t know it. MI6 does and notices." —anon
> 
> ***
> 
> Wow…this fic got really derailed at some point. At first, I’m thinking, “Oh, it’ll be like the One Direction song” then…yeah, spoilers.
> 
> I don’t know what else to say other than…enjoy?
> 
> ~Erin

“That hair. Fuck, I want to just run my hands through it and grip it.”

“I’d kill to see what he’s got under that cardigan.”

“I’d kill to be that mug of his, if you know what I mean.”

 “My god, that ass. I swear you could bounce a coin off of it.”

“I swear to God, if he nibbles his lip one more time, I’m gunna blow.”

James smirked, enjoying the banter of his fellow 00 agents. Well, it wasn’t quite banter so much as they were all going on about their new Quartermaster, “Alec, you’re going to blow regardless if Q unintentionally cock-teases you.”

006 finished cleaning his gun, “James, the guy is a walking cock-tease.” He chuckled, “Honestly, there’s a _reason_ all the previous Quartermasters have been old and white. If any of them were half as hot as Mr. Earl Grey, they would be handling a lot more 00 _equipment_ , if you know what I mean.”

Just because the 00 agents received a lot of sex while on the field (undercover or otherwise) didn’t mean they weren’t always on the prowl for more. And being 00 agents meant they were used to the best: the best equipment, the best cars, the best _partners_. So if a 00 agent wanted someone in bed, they were something else.

When _all_ the 00 agents wanted them in bed, the target in question was nothing short of a god.

But a constant source of irritation for the band of superspies was the fact of how _oblivious_ Q was about his own appearance. The genius had taken to wearing bulky cardigans that hid the shape of his torso, thick glasses that obscured most people’s view of his eyes, and had no idea when anyone was propositioning him. Alec had once even sat on the Quartermaster’s desk, sporting an impressive bulge between his legs, and all Q had done was wave 006 off so he could continue working on his latest gadget.

So either Q was a fool, or he was a tease. And it was never wise to tease a 00 agent, let alone all of them.

“—James? Are you listening?”

James blinked, “I’m sorry, I guess I was lost in thought for a bit.”

The 00s shared a knowing look, “Yeah, while you were fantasizing over the Quartermaster—” 002 started.

“We were thinking of what we were going to do about it.” Alec finished. “You in?”

James smirked again, “Of course.”

* * *

 

“I cannot believe you destroyed _another_ car, 007.” Q shook his head, walking alongside Bond through MI6, “You were in Cardiff, what the hell kind of trouble did you get into in Cardiff?”

James shrugged as they entered Q branch, “Oh you know, the usual.”

Q rolled his eyes, “The usual, my ass…” He grumbled. James took the opportunity to admire said ass as Q opened the door to his office.

Though he wished he could have seen the look on the Quartermaster’s face when he realized that his office was full of 00 agents.

“What the hell…” Q started. James only smirked, locking the office door behind him.

Alec grinned, “I think we all need to have a nice, _long_ chat with you, Quartermaster.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, you guys asked for it...

Poor Q, he really had no clue what he had just walked into. “Yes, 006? Is something the matter?”

“You could say that, Quartermaster.” 008 nodded, getting up from his position and walking to Q’s side.

002 was soon on Q’s other side. Together, they lifted Q by his arms, carrying the protesting Quartermaster to his desk.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Q kicked his legs uselessly in the air as he was carried, “If this is some idea of a joke—”

001 and 003 were clearing off Q’s desk, while 004 and 005 grabbed Q’s kicking legs. “I assure you, Quartermaster,” 009 replied as Q was placed on his desk, “We’re taking this quite seriously.”

“You see, Q.” Alec grinned as Q tried to squirm his way off his desk, “We’ve had our eye on you for quite some time.”

“We’ve been trying to get your attention for _so_ long.” 005 shook his head, pinning Q’s legs to the desk.

“But you’ve been ignoring us, Quartermaster.” 004 pouted, keeping a firm grip along with 005 on Q’s legs. “That’s not very nice.”

“Either that,” 008 smirked, pulling on Q’s arm until he was laying back on his desk, “Or you have no idea just how delectable you really are?”

“But how could you not know?” 002 cooed in his ear, gripping his arm tightly, “How could a brilliant man like you _not_ know how damn gorgeous you are?”

Q, bless his heart, was still struggling, trying to break free. A pointless endeavor, really, when four 00 agents were holding him down and another five were in the room, but that was the fight or flight reaction for you. Humanity’s default.

Alec smirked, reaching down and working on undoing the buttons of Q’s cardigan, “We’ve been waiting a long time to see what’s under here…” he chuckled, letting 003 unbutton what he couldn’t reach. The white dress shirt that was underneath was next, with Q’s tie thrown to the side.

“There we are…” 001 smirked, sliding a hand up Q’s exposed torso, “Look at you, hiding all this under a frumpy cardigan?”

“That wasn’t very nice, Q.” 003 leaned forward, running his tongue from Q’s navel up to his chest. At Q’s gasp, he grinned, “I love those sounds.”

Q was blushing bright red as his reaction, only to squirm again as 003 began to work at Q’s beltbuckle. The belt was soon discarded and his trousers unbuttoned and pulled down to his knees.

“Hey now, don’t take all the fun.” 004 chuckled, “Trade me spots.”

003 took 004’s position holding Q’s leg, allowing 004 the freedom to move freely over Q’s body. The 00 smirked, mouthing Q’s half-formed erection through the thin cotton of the Quartermaster’s briefs.

“Nnng!” Q was biting his lip now, his body seizing in attempt to keep his reactions contained. “Ah…”

“Come now, Q.” 005 smirked, kissing a bit of Q’s exposed thigh, “Don’t be like that.”

“Let us hear you.” 001 placed several kisses along Q’s neck.

Alec was nibbling Q’s ear, whispering hotly, “We’re going to take _such_ good care of you.”

Flushed and feeling exposed, Q frantically looked for any sign of escape, “James! Help me!”

007, who had merely been watching up until that point, stepped forward, “I don’t think it would be wise for us to continue this.”

The agents stopped what they were doing (even 004 managed to pry himself from Q’s erection) to look curiously at James. Q breathed a sigh of relief as James stepped up beside where Alex and 001 were standing by Q’s desk…only to blink in confusion as James removed Q’s glasses.

“There,” He said, placing the glasses in a drawer, “We wouldn’t want those breaking, would we?

Before Q could say anything questioning James, 007 bent forward and took one of Q’s nipples in his mouth, teasing it with his tongue and teeth.

“Ah!” Q screamed, arching his back to the sensation, “JAMES!”

Alec smirked, “Ooo, I like the sound of that.” He chuckled, “Let’s see if he can scream the rest of our names.”

* * *

 

When Q woke up, he was no longer on his desk. Sometime during their…tryst (he couldn’t bring himself to admit that he had just been a part of an orgy), they had moved to the floor. Now Q found himself on a bed of 00 agents.

He blushed as he tried to pull himself from the next of 00 bodies on the floor. His ass was sore and dripping down his legs, his body was covered in love bites, his penis and nipples were over-stimulated, his mouth was swollen and he could still taste semen on his tongue. He felt like a whore, partially because of how _used_ he was...

And partially because he had like it.

His cardigan was laying on the floor, so Q picked it up and wrapped it around himself like a robe in an attempt to cover himself. He could only imagine his shame if someone ever found out about what had happened _in his office_ of all places. He’d never hear the end of it.

Sighing, Q went to his desk, opening the drawer where his glasses were, only to find that they were not there.

“Looking for these?” Q turned to see (vaguely) 007 leaning against the desk, his glasses in his hand.

Q huffed, snatching the glasses from his hand, “Traitor.” He hissed. “You were in on it from the start, weren’t you?”

“I might have been.” James smirked, “The look on your face was quite lovely.”

“You led me to them like a lamb to the slaughter.”

“I’d like to think of it as leading a virgin to his wedding bed.” He chuckled, “Not that you were a virgin, of course.”

Q shook his head, “I was _terrified_ , James. I thought they were going to torture me at first.”

“I would have never let harm come to you.” James replied firmly, taking Q’s face in his hands, “None of them meant you harm and you knew that, Q. I wouldn’t have allowed them to do it if you hadn’t confided in me about your little fantasy.”

The Quartermaster sighed, a blush spreading across his cheeks, “I know…I was still taken off guard.”

“That was the point. I wanted you to have the full experience.” James nodded, “So…how was it for you.”

After a moment, Q smiled softly, “It was brilliant.” He leaned forward and kissed James softly, “You all have your own style, you know that?”

“Don’t I know it.” James chuckled, “Be careful Q, or you might have you own 00 harem.”

“Too late.” Q and James turned to look at Alec, who was sitting up slowly, “So…when should we do this again?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what should happen next, guys? Any suggestions?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, last chapter was pretty dubconny...almost noncon until the very end. This chapter is more about the different agents and their own quirks and how Q handles them.
> 
> All the agents names came from the James Bond wiki site, some were changed because no name was given for a particular agent or to keep two agents from having the same name.
> 
> Enjoy!

Something had definitely changed between the 00 agents and Q. Something about them all waking up naked on the floor of his office to see Q, debauched and wearing only his cardigan, standing over them. One doesn’t exactly go back to an agent/superior relationship after that.

Especially when they discovered that 007 had been Q’s lover the entire time the rest of them had been trying to gain his attention.

But they settled into an odd relationship after that. Behind the closed doors of Q’s office, the 00 agents were openly more affectionate with Q, and Q seemed to love all his 00 agents with their unique quirks.

It had started off simply enough when Edward, 001, would return his things to Q and he would smile softly. Q always had a kind thing to say about Edwards habits (mainly being that he more often than not actually returned his equipment). 001 always seemed glow at Q’s praise, and the weight of whatever mission he had finished would vanish. From then on, Q always made sure to praise Edward whenever he earned it, whether it was on a mission or doing a _particularly_ good job in bed.

Similarly enough, Bill, 002, was rather fond of affection, but not in the same way as Edward. The first time Q had told Bill to be careful on his mission and to be safe, 002 had stared at him like he had spoken the whole thing in Korean and backwards to boot. It wasn’t until much later that Q had unraveled the secret: Bill was not used to being cared for.  The man was a 00 agent, he knew passion and seduction, but genuine affection had never been a luxury for 002. So Q made sure to provide whatever care and affection he could to the agent.

With Jack, 003, Q discovered that the agent’s greatest desire was to be ordinary. He had confessed to Q that with all the outrageous things he did as an agent, being average was the only adventure left to him. So when 003 had leave for any reason, Q indulged him with ordinary things: going to the park, ice skating, eating greasy pub food. Even when they had sex, it was simple and sweet. A nice break from their crazy lives in MI6.

John, 004, on the other hand, was a kinky son of a bitch. Q had known that since the first time the agents had sought him out, from the way John had been all too eager to get things started. What he hadn’t known at the time, was how much 004 got turned on by being treated roughly. Really, how was Q supposed to know how excited John got when Q told him to stop being such a bitch about his equipment? Or that he got off on being called a cock-slut? That being said, Q was more than happy to give the eccentric 00 what he needed.

Q realized he had somehow become the 00 den mother (or harem queen, rather) when Stuart, 005, came to him, distraught and close to tears. He confessed that he had been having trouble seeing from his right eye and that it was most likely a genetic eye defect that was in his family history. He was terrified that he only had a few weeks before Medical found the defect and he would lose his status as an agent, and confessed that he didn’t know how he could live outside MI6, it was all he knew. Q comforted the agent while he confided him, then came up with a plan. It took one faked accident to get 005 put on medical leave, then a month of tinkering and making medical and technological breakthroughs, but Q had somehow had developed a bionic eye to replace Stuart’s defective one. M had been reluctant to try it but, after Q explained that the worst that could happen was they would lose an agent who they would have lost anyway, he okay-ed the surgery. The results were astounding, to say the least, and Stuart had _more_ than shown his gratitude. Alec had teased Stuart briefly about his bionic eye, calling him GoldenEye…until Stuart had broken every sharpshooting record MI6 had.

Speaking of Alec, 006 always had been the hothead of the 00 agents. Sure, he could keep his cool during missions, but there were times when he simply preferred to function with all engines running. If ever there was an agent who would crash and burn, it was 006. Not on Q’s watch. Q had made it his goal, with Alec at least, to make sure that the man _paced_ himself and didn’t get himself killed.

James had always said that William, 008, was a loyal man. He even once that that if there was an agent who would avenge someone’s death, it would be 008. Q didn’t know why William acted the way he did, only that 008 so often thought of others before himself, even in bed. The agent oftentimes worshiped Q and focused on his pleasure so much so that the agent never sought to fill his own needs. So Q would always make sure that the agent received just as much as he gave, both in bed and out.

Cederic, 009, was a curious fellow. Q remembered that when the agents had first “seduced” Q (as if Q had been given a choice), 009’s participation was minimal. Then he realized that he was also the only agent who hadn’t actively participated in the more…explicit activities. After a while, Q realized that the agent was not a sexual creature by choice, that while the other agents might have been classified as bi- or pansexual, 009 was asexual by nature. So Q had taken it upon himself to see to the agents own personal needs: whenever Cederic returned from a mission that required him to seduce a mark, Q would take a personal evening with him doing whatever the agent preferred. Whether it was a simple dinner or watching a film, Q would let him know that romance didn’t need to be physical.

Yes, Q knew all their quirks and personalities, and enjoyed taking care of all of them. And the 00’s all adored their Quartermaster. None of them minded sharing, and they often collaborated together (with James’s permission and leadership) for special occasions, such as for Q’s birthday one year, the 00’s had fulfilled another one of Q’s fantasies (a kidnapping scenario that ended with a delightful evening with the most deadly men on the planet). All the 00’s knew that 007 was the one that Q would marry, if that was really in any of their futures.

But for the moment, things were wonderful.

Strange, but wonderful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tada! Look at all the agents Q has!
> 
> I kinda like their little quirks, how about you? Whose you're favorite 00 besides James (and Alec, since he's usually the only other 00 that gets attention)?
> 
> Any ideas what should happen next?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Can you have a female 00 involved too? That would be cool, especially if she identified as lesbian and Q found a way to accommodate her, perhaps with the help of eve? Your writing on the ‘Your sexy and don’t know it’ is pretty awesome! Thank you!!!!" —inaubable

The appointment of Scarlett Papava as 0010 was a bit of a problem. Not because she was a woman, nor because she upset the “triple digit 00” norm.  No, the 00s weren’t quite sure how the new 00 would play into their relationship with Q.

Especially when, during her first visit to Q branch as a 00, she bluntly told Q, “Whatever it is you’ve got going on with the other 00s, leave me out of it. I’ve got no interest in men, _at all_ , if you get what I mean. So don’t even try it.”

If Q was surprised, he didn’t show it. He simply adjusted his glasses, and pointed to the table behind his desk, where he had an assortment of mugs lined up and labeled “001” through “0010.”

“I haven’t quite gotten to the point where I have your favorite beverage in stock, but you’re welcome to help yourself to any of the other 00s’ stash of treats until I have things you like.” He nodded, “Now, let’s get started on your weapon of choice.”

* * *

 

It was 002 and 009 that really broke the ice with 0010 and the rest of the 00 agents. Or rather, it was what they did after one of Scarlett’s missions went terribly wrong.

She had been assigned to work undercover to investigate a trafficking ring. The only problem was that while the Intel had told them it had been information being trafficked, in reality, it had been sex as well. It had taken Cederic and Bill three days to break into the den and get Scarlett out, leaving more than 50 bodies in their wake.

Scarlett didn’t talk about what had happened to her during the time MI6 had lost contact with her. Then again, Cederic and Bill were more than capable of figuring out what likely happened.

“I don’t need to be coddled.” Scarlett had told them, staring out the window of their transport. “I’m not made of glass.”

Bill shook his head, “We know that. You’re a 00, one of us. You’re tough as nails.” He took a cigarette from a pack in his shirt pocket, lighting one and taking a long drag, “You wouldn’t have made it to 00 if M didn’t think you could handle the dangers of the job.”

“Or the bullshit that comes with it.” Cederic muttered, taking a long drink of water.

“Glad we’re on the same page.” Scarlett grumbled, “Give me a smoke, Bill.”

A cigarette was passed, along with a lighter. Specifically, Bill’s lighter, the one he took with him everywhere.

Cederic tapped a few buttons on his phone, “What’s your favorite food, Scarlett?”

Scarlett raised an eyebrow, “Is there a reason you need to know?”

Bill chuckled, letting loose a long stream of smoke, “Q likes having dinner ready whenever one of us 00s returns from a long assignment. More often than not, it’s whatever he knows we enjoy.”

“You’re joking.” Scarlett took a drag of her cigarette, chuckling, “I didn’t imagine Quartermaster as a mother hen.” At the looks she received from Bill and Cederic, she sighed, “Fuck it, tell him to get sushi, lots of it. I’m so hungry, I could eat a whole fucking tuna. And the spicier, the better.”

Cederic nodded, sending the message.

By the time the three returned to MI6 head quarters, specifically Q branch, there was an entire table spread of various sushi rolls (and a small bowl of wasabi).

“Ah, you’re back,” Q said softly, typing up his report of the mission at the table, “If someone would be so kind as to pass the soy sauce, we can finish this report and go home by the time we finish dinner.”

“Sounds good to me, I’m ready to go the fuck home.” Scarlett muttered, picking up a pair of chop sticks and snapping them apart. “You didn’t get the cheap stuff, huh Q?”

“Of course not, Scarlett.” Q chuckled.

In response, Scarlett picked up a piece of spicy tuna, a small smile on her face.


	5. Chapter 5

 If Q was honest with himself, he was a bit relieved when the other 00 agents began to form their own relationships. It wasn't that Q didn't care about the agents, it was just he couldn't keep up forever.

So when Scarlett came into Q's office in a little black dress and styled for a night on the town, Q knew something was afoot.

0010 pressed a kiss to Q's cheek, "Thanks for all the dinners, Q. Don't wait up for me tonight, alright?"

Q had smiled, even though he wasn't sure what she was referring to.

At least until he saw Scarlett go over to Eve, also dressed to impress, and wrap her arm around her waist.

Oh. _Oh!_

Well that was certainly new.

"So this is the beginning of the end, isn’t it?" James had asked light heartedly.

In a way, it was.

Oh, the 00 agents remained close with Q, they never hesitated to confide in their Quartermaster and Q never hesitated to dote on his most deadly agents.

But their sexual relationship began to wane as the 00 agents began to form their own relationships.

Scarlett and Eve wasn’t as surprising as Q first thought it was. They were both strong and intelligent women, and they both were very involved in the workings of MI6, so there would be no secrets between them (unless of course Scarlett needed to work a Top Secret assignment).

In hind sight, Q and James should have expected that the best person to be the lover of a 00 agent…was another 00 agent.

002 and 008, Q found, made a good couple. He had been slightly surprised when he found William whispering quiet endearments in 002’s ear while the two were testing out new weapons in Q branch. Bill was a man who wasn’t used to having someone care about him, and William was a man who was perhaps the most devoted lover a person could have.

Of course, Alec had made the mistake of referring to the two as “Billy and Willy” while the agents were handling weapons. The taser in 008’s hands “accidently” went off and hit 006.

Speaking of Alec, the only person who could have possibly have kept up with 006’s wild and fast paced life was 004.

Q had learned about _that_ particular relationship from James. 007 had quite simply walked into Q’s office with a frown on his face, “So Alec and John are together.”

The Quartermaster had taken the news in stride, “And are you not pleased with the relationship?”

“I’m not pleased that I can’t use the showers at the moment, nor will I ever be able to look at handcuffs and body piercings the same way ever again.”

The statement had made Q want to inquire further, but judging by the look on James’s face, he quickly decided that it was probably best to leave the two wild agents to their (hopefully private) love life.

John had come to Q after…whatever he and Alec were doing, and had fixed himself a cup of coffee in his 004 mug.

“So…” The 00 agent began, “Do we need to have an awkward break up from whatever this is?”

Q had blinked, before taking a long gulp of his tea from his own mug, “I don’t think so…and you can tell Alec that too, so he knows too.” He nodded, “But you should know that there will always be a mug here for you, and I’m always here if you need anything.”

John nodded slowly, drinking his coffee, “So…there will be curry vindaloo waiting when I get back from my mission?”

The Quartermaster had smiled and assured the agent that yes, there would be curry waiting for him. And from there, word had spread to the rest of the 00 agents that Q would not stop taking care of them just because they found their own relationships.  So the other 00 agents began to tell Q about their new relationships.

Though Q and James still had a habit of discovering new relationships completely on accident. Such as when the two managed to have a night off and had decided to have dinner in London. The two were walking to their dinner reservation when they spotted two familiar figures at a nearby ice rink.

Stuart had his arm around Jack, helping 003 skate around the ice rink. 005 was wearing an eyepatch to cover his mechanical eye and the two looked completely happy in their completely average date. For the two mild mannered 00 agents, a date to the ice rink probably was a wonderful night out.

“Yeah, I should have figured those two would end up together.” James muttered, shaking his head, “So that leaves Edward and Cederic?”

“Yes…” Q was reluctant, “We’ll have to wait and see.”

It would seem inevitable that the remaining two 00 agents would form a relationship. At least until M had called for an agency meeting. Q had found himself trying to keep himself entertained by taking notes. But then something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye.

It was Cederic, but what caught Q’s attention was the shy way 009 was brushing hands with the person next to him, fingers tentatively twining together with the smaller hand.

Q’s surprise only grew when he realized who was sitting next to 009.

R.

The Quartermaster had been thrown by that. He had always assumed that his assistant hadn’t been interested in dating _at all_. But judging by the way was shyly trying to fight a blush, Q reasoned that wasn’t entirely true.

As for 009, while Q knew that Cederic was asexual, he knew that didn’t mean the agent was aromantic. And Q couldn’t help but find the tentative couple…well, adorable.

James had been shocked when Q had told him about the couple. But that wasn’t as shocking as what James had shared with him some weeks later.

007 had gotten himself in trouble again on an assignment, and had to explain his actions to M. But when James had gone to M’s office, he found the door locked.

“M is in a meeting with 001 at the moment.” Eve had explained, working at her desk.

James had been mildly surprised. Edward had always been a by-the-rules sort of agent, he never got himself in trouble. It must have been something serious if M had insisted on talking to 001. And so James hadn’t been too worried about waiting.

He just hadn’t expected to be waiting for an hour and a half.

When Edward finally did come out of M’s office, James had been more than a little curious, “Bloody hell, Edward, who did you kill to get yourself in so much…” James found himself stopping, mainly because he noticed the bright red love bites that dotted 001’s neck. Very red and very _fresh_. If he had been drinking, he would have choked, “Are you serious?”

Edward hadn’t looked apologetic in the least, giving James a casual shrug, “You started it with Q, you know.”

James didn’t have an argument for that.

“So I guess it’s just the two of us now.” Q had chuckled when James had told him the story.

“Yes,” James smiled, wrapping his arms around his lover, “I guess it is.”


	6. Bonus: 001 and M

Everyone knew that 001 was a good agent. And he was a good agent in the same way that most people expected a 00 agent to be a good agent: he followed orders to the letter, he was clean and efficient (no unplanned explosions for him), and he always brought his equipment back in one piece (usually, sometimes things were simply unavoidable).

Which was why M preferred to work with 001 whenever he needed an agent working as an escort or guard whenever M had meetings that were…of higher risk than usual meetings.

Such as the ones where supposed foreign dignitaries turn a normal meeting into a hail of bullets.

001 had anticipated the violence (which was his job in this particular scenario) and, without so much as a “by your leave,” had knocked M from his chair and pinned him to the floor.

“Sir, I really do suggest you stay down for the time being.” 001 told him calmly as he reached for his weapon, still practically laying on top of his boss.

Part of M wanted to point out that he wasn’t going to be so stupid as to get up when there were terrorist (or whatever the hell they were) spraying bullets in every which direction. The more pragmatic part of M’s mind knew better than to distract 001, especially when he was taking on several armed men. And so he laid there on the floor like a second rate rug while 001 did his job.

M had to admit, the fight didn’t last nearly as long as he imagined it would. While the enemy was going through more bullets than they could keep track of, 001 was only firing one well-placed bullet at a time. It was only when the magazine on 001’s gun ran empty that the agent had to get creative. And by creative, that meant throwing a paperweight at the nearest target to distract him before engaging him in hand to hand combat. Really, M expected _that_ from 007.

“Sir?” M looked up to see 001, breathing only slightly heavier than usual kneeling beside him, “Are you injured?”

“No, 001, I’m feel fine.” M nodded, sitting up, “Good job, by the way.”

“Thank you, sir.” 001 nodded, “But I’m afraid I need to check you over for wounds myself.”

The head of MI6 barely recognized the agent’s response before he felt 001’s hands moving over his chest, checking under his suit jacket for any obvious wounds.

It was certainly a new experience, being manhandled by a 00 agent. It was especially surreal considering the fact that M knew very well that those hands had just killed a man not even a minute earlier.

Though, he had to admit, he wasn’t sure if the shiver that went down his spine was from fear…or something else.

“001—”

“Edward.”

M blinked, looking up at the agent. “Edward, then.” He continued dryly, “Are you this thorough checking all your charges for any potential wounds?”

The agent paused in moving his hands down M’s thighs, looking up at his superior. It was only when the agent’s eyes met his own that M could see the spark held within them, as well the smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“Would you like me to be, sir?”

There was a moment when M said nothing. He knew 001 was challenging him. And damn if he didn’t like a challenge.

“No. Just me, thank you very much.”

“Of course, sir.”


End file.
